Thoughts on rereading the chapters set in Port Royal...

[rispacooper]

* The writing is awful and clunky

* Rene apparently thinks he's trapped inside 'Madame Butterfly'

* I compare Ben to Etienne in a really strange way

* James continues to silently beg Etienne to jump him and is getting annoyed that Etienne won't. (i.e. please take the decision away from me Etienne and just fuck me)

* I really need to edit

* Mirena is hot

* (in my head) when Honore comes to kidnap Etienne, Etienne was sleeping and having a strange, sweaty fantasy about James and a desk and Honore sort of stopped to stare at him for a moment in fascination

* I really need to edit

Comments

[pir8fancier.livejournal.com]

* The writing is awful and clunky

No, my petite. I disagree.

* Rene apparently thinks he's trapped inside 'Madame Butterfly'

Uh. So?

* I compare Ben to Etienne in a really strange way

Perhaps, but it works.

* James continues to silently beg Etienne to jump him and is getting annoyed that Etienne won't. (i.e. please take the decision away from me Etienne and just fuck me)

Yes, but then we've pretty much decided that James is a slut bunny extraordinaire, so what is this an issue?

* I really need to edit

*Minor* weaking perhaps, but not editing.

* Mirena is hot

Duh.

* (in my head) when Honore comes to kidnap Etienne, Etienne was sleeping and having a strange, sweaty fantasy about James and a desk and Honore sort of stopped to stare at him for a moment in fascination

Yes, I want to read this scene, like OMG. Hot. James over a desk. Foreshadowing of James and Rene in the office before they are interupted by that master of ill-timing, Ben.

* I really need to edit

Tweaking, but then these are the critical scenes in the book when the power between the two becomes a toss up. Up until Port Royal, the reader is under the misinterpretation that James is under Rene's spell. In Port Royal, we are thorougly disabused of that notion and realize that the attraction is completely mutal (much to Rene's disgust). AND we also realize that James is a total tart. YAY!

If you change a single world, a "the", an "and" of chapter nine, I will never forgive you, because it is perfect. The hottest scene I've ever read, and the thing at the end where James dresses Rene in the coat. God, I've already gone on and on about the coat elsewhere, but THIS is when I knew that James loved Rene. At that moment. No that James knew this. He was putting it down to mere lust. But I knew.

Um, off to reread all Port Royal chapters because I heart them so much.

[rispacooper.livejournal.com]

* (in my head) when Honore comes to kidnap Etienne, Etienne was sleeping and having a strange, sweaty fantasy about James and a desk and Honore sort of stopped to stare at him for a moment in fascination

Yes, I want to read this scene, like OMG. Hot. James over a desk. Foreshadowing of James and Rene in the office before they are interupted by that master of ill-timing, Ben.


I wish Pooky would write that scene, Honore finding him I mean, since she wuvs him, but she still finds Etienne creepy.

Meanwhile I was thinking Ben and Etienne never interact onscreen (on page?), but they do, sort of. Weird.