To (possibly) reiterate...

[rispacooper]

I know I've probably said this before, but could Richard Lionheart and Saladin just *fuck* already? Just think of the problems that could have been solved if Saladin had just captured him and non-conned him into compliance? He would make a very good pet, once properly taught, just spirited enough to keep a man always wanting more.

Of course, he's still issues with his brother and Phillip and stuff...so that would be a serious relationship blocker.

But other than that, can't you just see him, chained, sitting on the floor of a tent on a mass of brilliantly colored pillows, snarling as Saladin suggests a bath, offers him some rose water sherbet, not quite daring to touch his pretty golden-red hair just yet?




In other news...I am seriously writing the most epic *weirdo* porn I've ever written. And I am not talking about kink.

Comments

[pir8fancier.livejournal.com]

Richard always struck me as the most selfish bastard on the face of this earth. He basically invented narcissicism. Plus, I NEVER understood the wonderful press he got. He wasn't in the fucking country for more than a total of like three months his entire reign. His mother ruled for him while he traipsed off to kill as many Muslims as humanly possible. I REALLY DISLIKE HIM. Plus, I think he was really twisted in a totally fucked way. Like beating up dudes he just fucked. That sort of thing. I admit it's irrational on my part, but he is one of those historical figures I have a visceral reaction to. As opposed to his father, Henry II, who I would fuck in a New York minute.

[rispacooper.livejournal.com]

Haha, yeah, he's a total bastard. He is, in fact, almost sociopathic...which is the challenge really. I mean, those of us who like the baddies have such fun in slashing them, pairing them in these twisted forms of the Warrior/Shaman bond and reforming them into twisted yet noble heroes.

Ah in the slashy totally made up going on in my head right now...It's just amazing. I mean, there were just enough glimpses of nobility there to keep drawing people to him.

What he could have been if he hadn't had the peculiar upbringing he had...

Just make up names, make up a country, stick magic in there and I've got a fantasy slash novel in the making.

Yes. I have problems. Sometimes good people need a ruthless bastard on their side.

you know

[rispacooper.livejournal.com]

it occurs to me that they really build up the whole battle between two great leaders thing the same way early movies always build up custer/either crazy horse or sitting bull at little big horn. custer (also a strawberry blonde, weird) total bastard...versus the much cooler, wiser native leader. like it has to be epic to justify the great white leader losing the battle.

i wrote a paper on custer once. what? :P

but i would never ever ever want crazy horse/custer slash ever.
ever. ick.

i mean you take the same basic story and change it and i might write that...uptight army leader set to "subdue" restless natives, blinded by own arroagance, forced to learn his lesson in a romance novel-y sort of way when he's captured by studly native...

but i don't know...custer is somehow so tawdry. bleh.

omg seriously i have problems. this is my sleepy rambling. sorry.

Re: you know

[pir8fancier.livejournal.com]

I happen to think henry II was a total bastard but at least he was a competent bastard. Both Richard and Custer were really buffons who happened to be poster boys for revisionist historical propaganda. Oh, I like my men somewhat evil, but for christ's sake, know what you're doing.

Custer by all accounts was a total egoist. Everything I've read is one of those lambs to slaughter things. How he basically sacrified all his men because he just couldn't fathom that a bunch of heathens could beat him.

So I want my bad boys to have SOME wits about them. I can handle to egotism, but it's the incompetence that I have trouble swallowing.

Re: you know

[rispacooper.livejournal.com]

I don't know, I'd say Richard learned selfishness pretty well from both of his parents.

But I also have been known to occasionally say, "poor Caligula"

so...yeah...