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first. am sober. ha ha! take that those who doubt me! christmas i was not however. received fabulous present of a "bottle of wine glass". 1 glass=1 bottle of wine. nummy. also did not have to work, and got homemade cinnamon rolls. very rewarding day. i quite enjoy my fake bling as well. pink diamonds darling. huge pink (fake) diamonds! plus a nice pimp hat to make me look quite ghetto. i think i shall sport that look when making appearance at friends' geeky new years day lord of rings marathon. i likes to look good to intimidate the geekies.
second. hope everyone else has nice new years. that is a much more promising holiday than xmas anyway. i needs must find a new job for my resolution. also, i know i have no money but i need a vacation. everyone i know has had vacations. i have not had one for three years now. i also inspire possessiveness in certain of my friends, and it annoys me when i plan on going away for maybe two days (like, to a wedding, ick) and get guilted for leaving but am supposed to be happy for them when they trot off on vacations. (bitter bitter bitter...hmm what is that taste in my mouth?)
ooh, morris day and the time is on tv. jungle love. oh we oh we oh. :)
third. friends of mine went to see tom jones for their "anniversary". they are only dating, but what makes this truly bullshit is that *i* got them into tom jones in the first place, and that they went, planning to follow tradition and throw panties at TJ, but then chickened out and didn't do it. even though every other person there did apparently. then what the fuck is the point? then they could have told me about it when they bought their tickets. i would have bought my own and sat by myself and thrown my own damn panties. (this is connected to my vacations rant. which somehow seems to be a couple thing. i guess they can save money better than singletons. so i suggested to another friend that i need to date someone for financial reasons and received yet another moment of possessiveness. no, i can't imagine me living with someone either. i'm not gonna do it. no need to get jealous. jesus).
any sense at all? ah i don't expect a response to this. this is several days of whining built up in my head.
fourth. i hate couples and their merry christmases and whining about having to visit families. shut. the. fuck. up. there. it isn't that i want the pressure and annoyance of being in a couple. but there are moments when it would be nice, and holidays are included in those moments. shutchafacefelicia!
fifth. i am very antisocial by nature. most of the time really. and i like it that my friends are nice, funny, clever, and (for the most part) loyal. i also like it that they live...not close...to me. it is my nature. and i am too tired to soothe feelings when i don't return calls. i am not in the mood. everyone knows this. why people choose to get all hurt by it i don't know. (i talk on the phone like a man. the only time i stay on the phone for hours talking is in brainstorming sessions with Illyana.)
i sound really messed up don't i? oh well. is my insanity showing? i'd better tuck that back in. honestly though, how can people not see it? even when i think i am being nice to people it turns out i am being mean and bitchy far too concerned with my own cleverness. i am also apparently frightening. (had weird, awkward conversation with drunken coworker at holiday party. just the two of us...and it was....awkward. yuck. keep the truth to yourself unless you need it as a weapon.)
but, i am not unhappy. i mean, ok i am, but that's because i work and work and am ass poor and have this intense frustration with my writing right now. and bills. and fucking hollywood video. but i like being grouchy and critical and i like my friends and i really do not want a boyfriend. just a dick on occasion. or someone warm to rub my back before i can yell for them to get the hell off me and go stretch out on my bed. :) heh. how selfish is that? awesome.
so i guess i can say is....
DON'T DATE ROBOTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
second. hope everyone else has nice new years. that is a much more promising holiday than xmas anyway. i needs must find a new job for my resolution. also, i know i have no money but i need a vacation. everyone i know has had vacations. i have not had one for three years now. i also inspire possessiveness in certain of my friends, and it annoys me when i plan on going away for maybe two days (like, to a wedding, ick) and get guilted for leaving but am supposed to be happy for them when they trot off on vacations. (bitter bitter bitter...hmm what is that taste in my mouth?)
ooh, morris day and the time is on tv. jungle love. oh we oh we oh. :)
third. friends of mine went to see tom jones for their "anniversary". they are only dating, but what makes this truly bullshit is that *i* got them into tom jones in the first place, and that they went, planning to follow tradition and throw panties at TJ, but then chickened out and didn't do it. even though every other person there did apparently. then what the fuck is the point? then they could have told me about it when they bought their tickets. i would have bought my own and sat by myself and thrown my own damn panties. (this is connected to my vacations rant. which somehow seems to be a couple thing. i guess they can save money better than singletons. so i suggested to another friend that i need to date someone for financial reasons and received yet another moment of possessiveness. no, i can't imagine me living with someone either. i'm not gonna do it. no need to get jealous. jesus).
any sense at all? ah i don't expect a response to this. this is several days of whining built up in my head.
fourth. i hate couples and their merry christmases and whining about having to visit families. shut. the. fuck. up. there. it isn't that i want the pressure and annoyance of being in a couple. but there are moments when it would be nice, and holidays are included in those moments. shutchafacefelicia!
fifth. i am very antisocial by nature. most of the time really. and i like it that my friends are nice, funny, clever, and (for the most part) loyal. i also like it that they live...not close...to me. it is my nature. and i am too tired to soothe feelings when i don't return calls. i am not in the mood. everyone knows this. why people choose to get all hurt by it i don't know. (i talk on the phone like a man. the only time i stay on the phone for hours talking is in brainstorming sessions with Illyana.)
i sound really messed up don't i? oh well. is my insanity showing? i'd better tuck that back in. honestly though, how can people not see it? even when i think i am being nice to people it turns out i am being mean and bitchy far too concerned with my own cleverness. i am also apparently frightening. (had weird, awkward conversation with drunken coworker at holiday party. just the two of us...and it was....awkward. yuck. keep the truth to yourself unless you need it as a weapon.)
but, i am not unhappy. i mean, ok i am, but that's because i work and work and am ass poor and have this intense frustration with my writing right now. and bills. and fucking hollywood video. but i like being grouchy and critical and i like my friends and i really do not want a boyfriend. just a dick on occasion. or someone warm to rub my back before i can yell for them to get the hell off me and go stretch out on my bed. :) heh. how selfish is that? awesome.
so i guess i can say is....
DON'T DATE ROBOTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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