3 things nobody needed to know about IOS

[rispacooper]

And proof that sometimes I think things out too much.

1). In my head, James' stepmother is a Jew-ess, as they would have said at the time. Why? I don't know. I think she's the the result of waaaay too many conversations with my brother done in the accent of New York yenta (well really just Linda Richman from Coffee Talk)...and no his belle-mere wouldn't be from New York, but still, this amuses me.


2). James listens to Nine Inch Nails on his iPod. Rene listens to Shakira. Etienne loves the Rolling Stones and Britney Spears, but switches to Mozart whenever someone comes in the room.

3). I accidentally made Rene related to Jesus. (Damn you Da Vinci Code!!) See a long, long time ago, I was searching through lists of French heraldry and found a family name I'm not going to mention now, and thought it would be cool for Crazy!mommy to be of that family, on her mother's side. Descendents of the Merovingians, they come from an area rumored to have once (or still) hold the grail. I mean, like, THE Grail, right? So then it just amused me to put her in a chapel with a big cup on the altar...not Teh grail obviously, but still a symbol of the feminine. And then...AND THEN...that fucking book comes out and suddenly I realize...oh wait...if grail=womb then Rene is....

Shit. Now he *has* to breed.

To make it worse, and infinitly cheesier. If James is a Fitzroy, and Rene is a part-Merovingian...then they are *both* descended of lines of kings.

(None of which equals the Incident of Too Much Research of Pooky's, but I won't go into that now).

I am a GEEK, yay!!!

Comments

[pir8fancier.livejournal.com]

You have taken the concept of backstory to new heights.

And if you make Rene breed, Pooky and I will KEEL you.

[rispacooper.livejournal.com]

personally I blame Dan Brown. *I* just liked to say Mero-ving-i-ans out loud. It sounds kewl.

[pir8fancier.livejournal.com]

So, I'm the English history hor. Who's James related to?

[rispacooper.livejournal.com]

aaah *that* is where I have been shamefully lax. But the term originated shortly after William the Conquerer (himself a bastard, though not a Fitz of anyone for some reason) and then last person 'officially' named Fitzroy that I know of was around James' time. So I would place it soemwhere around somewhere during the War of the Roses...recent, but long enough ago and during a strange enoguh time that's it been an ignored and forgotten branch of the family. I suppose I ought to pick a side.

Whatcha think? York or Lancaster?

[pir8fancier.livejournal.com]

I have so many books on Richard III that it's not a little embarassing. Aside from the murdering the nephews bit, the Yorkists were a much nicer lot than the Lancastrians (and better soldiers--although outflanked by that persistent Henry VII). Oh hell, they were all pretty much a blood-thirsty lot, although I really have nothing but scorn for those grasping upstarts, the Woodvilles. Let's make him a Yorkist.

[rispacooper.livejournal.com]

Yorkist it is then.

I really ought to work on his family tree a little. Just to make up for making Rene a Scion of the Sacred Line.

Though of course, the same argument could loosely apply to James...if a Merovingian descendant had married/fucked a Norman invader...
*ahem*

*The British are more German than French, Rispa, remember? That's stretching really really far*


of course, the theory long was that any monarch was inherently divine. England has its own grail myths...

[pir8fancier.livejournal.com]

Oooh, oooh, oooh! Let's make James an offshoot of Henry II. God, I'd fuck him in a new york minute. Everything I've read about him screams sex on a stick.

[rispacooper.livejournal.com]

Henry Plantagenet?

omgthatshot.

*you know...it would be odd to mention that in unfinished Robin Hood stories, wouldn't it? Some bastard bitter ancestor of James, lurking around a court full of intrigue...visiting with Richard...*

[pir8fancier.livejournal.com]

Oui, Henry Plantagent, who whisked Eleanor away from Louis (not that THAT was hard) and fucked her into 11 pregnancies. And they didn't marry until she was, like, 32, and he was 22.

You really couldn't have early James frolicking with Richard *unless* you were really going to get dirty and make it a slightly incestuous take on the men in tights cuz they'd be half brothers. I REALLY don't like Richard the Lionhearted, although he was Eleanor's favorite. He sounded like a real piece of work. Talk about propaganda. He was in England for a total of two months for his entire reign and yet gets all this glory. And his brother, John, gets ALL the bad press, and yet he was a fairly decent king who actually cared about England and didn't spend all his time jerking off to thoughts of killing the Infidels. Certainly Richard's choice of fun.

[rispacooper.livejournal.com]

but James would like Richard...Richard had incredibly romantic thoughts (apparently) about Phillipe, then casually slaughtered hundreds of captured infidels in cold blood to make a point. James would cream his jeans, incest aside.

Maybe Eleanor cuckolded Henry again and Richard isn't really his. *desperate justification*

Ah well. THe unfinished Robin Hood porn leaves it ambiguous as to whether or not it was Richard or just some random Knight Templar.

(Knight Templar...note that I have again sort of returned to the Grail. Apparently, it will haunt all my slashiness)

[pir8fancier.livejournal.com]

Yeah, Richard creamed in his pants for Phillipe. And I agree, James would adore Richard in all his misplaced glory mode. At this point, Rene and Deniau are making gagging noises in the background because, really, this is James at his worst.

Do we really want to see a smack down between Rene and Richard? I DO! I DO!

Sorry, honey, unfortunately you would have to do many hand-springs to make Richard not his. He inherited the worst traits of both parents and, apparently, none of the good ones other than he prowess as a soldier. But he had NONE of the cunning of his father, which really sort of makes him nothing more than a pretty boy with a lance. I do understand that he was exceptionally pretty. As were his parents. He got their looks from the stuff I've read. Which, in the mind set of that time, bought him a lot of credit. Sort of that looks good, must be a good king thing. Henry VIII milked that one for years until he became obese and then it was, hey, how did we get from a goodly king to a psychopathic tyrant so quickly. Just a Big Mac away.

[rispacooper.livejournal.com]

Damn James is such a whore. Luckily, maybe his ancestor wasn't. I dunno. The Robin Hood slash is so extremely incomplete that anything is possible.

Deniau would not like Richard. Deniau would like Phillipe. Very much. He would eat that shit up.

Ever see that old Loretta Young movie "the Crusades" about Berengaria and Richard in love??? That confused the hell out of me when I first saw it years ago. Anyway, Richard/Saladin=OTP.

[pir8fancier.livejournal.com]

Damn James is such a whore.

Some of us don't exactly see that as a failing.

Deniau would like Phillipe.

Deniau has a thing for French men, doesn't he?

Yes, I DID see that movie I adored Loretta Young when I was a kid. I saw every one of her movies I could. Truth, of course, was stranger than Hollywood. If anyone ever needed to be canonized it was poor Berengaria. Talk about spin! Even Eleanor felt sorry for her and she wasn't really a woman who liked women very much. Doubt he even did his duty on his wedding night. TALK ABOUT TRES GAY!

[rispacooper.livejournal.com]

then I can't help but think of Braveheart, and the sweet, innocent She-wolf of France.

Hollywood history is awesome.

Phillipe is a calculating son of a bitch who ensares princes and kings with his hawt. How could Deniau not love that? But Deniau and Etienne Phillipe can never stay together, political pressures as well as alpha personalities ensuring that.

Do you work in the morning?

[pir8fancier.livejournal.com]

But Deniau and Etienne Phillipe can never stay together, political pressures as well as alpha personalities ensuring that.

Sob!

Yes, I do work in the morning, but I've started this weird (and REALLY STUPID) thing where if I stay up late I fool myself into thinking I won't spend as much time at work. Which is, of course, BULLSHIT! I have to be there at the same time every morning. This is called denial. And possibly insanity. I napped today so I'm a little wired. Plus finished pirate porn, because I was a good little writer and finished a chapter of crapola book and allowed myself the luxury of writing a chapter of pirate porn to reward myself, and whenever I finish a piece of fic I like I'm primed. I don't actually like this that much, but it's a fic that's been hanging over my head forEVAH and I'm so glad it's nearly done.

[rispacooper.livejournal.com]

well yay! for porns. and a chapter! yay for finishing anything, actually. WIPs are such a burden.

Etienne is a little bitter about the break-up actually. The relationship and the break-up, to be honest.

[pir8fancier.livejournal.com]

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<i.Etienne is a little bitter about the break-up actually. The relationship and the break-up, to be honest. </i>

You are such a tease.

[rispacooper.livejournal.com]

well it's all in my head of course, but their 'relationship' (re:repeated angry screwings) had dominance issues. and it revealed to etienne thinhgs about himself that he didn't want to know. yet at the same time, it was, in its way, loving, and also allowed him to test his mettle, so to speak.

i imagine, now that etienne is like uber-cool criminal/spy for his king that he secretly becomes in later years, that deniau probably sails on a ship etienne owns. and they communicate through these really impersonal letters that somehow they bot enjoy getting/reading.