It's that time of year

Where you clean out your pantry and do a good deed at the same time. Just bag up all those weird cans and boxes that have somehow ended up in your house and take 'em down to the nearest grocery store and drop them in that lover-ly food drive bin.

C'mon. Doesn't matter how poor you are. Everyone has those random food items that you did not buy and yet still occupy space in your pantry. I have, for example, a ginormous can of Pork n Beans that my brother's ex-boyfriend's mother gave to me for some reason. Feeling I need to eat beans I suppose (with or without George Wendt, she didn't say). I also have a jar of Country Fixins Red Pepper Jelly. ??? Where in the hell did that come from? And the Jiffy mixes? WTF??? I'll just make the cornbread from scratch, thanks. So now I have a) space in my kitchen b) a nice big bag of food to donate c) a smug sense of moral superiority a warm, fuzzy feeling in my tummy cuz I'm helping others. Heh.

Seriously though. "Do it. Do it."

(Starsky and Hutch still makes me laugh, sorry).

How to Wank

Posted originally by ladybirdsleeps in Fandom Wank, reposted here as I think it's funny.


Infinite Wank Loop
(also called 'Ouroboros of Dumb')

While wanking techniques are usually most effective when combined, this technique works superbly on its own. If you do not have the time to study a variety of techniques, you can still become a competent wanker by mastering the Infinite Wank Loop. In its classic form, it goes as follows:

Wanker (you): [says something mildly stupid]
Opponent: That was stupid.
Wanker: No, it wasn't. What I actually meant was [says something more stupid]
Opponent: What? That's stupid, too.
Wanker: No, it wasn't, because [gives an even more stupid reason]

When properly employed, the Infinite Wank Loop can make you appear to be just as much as an idiot as the Overt Bigot or OMG Stop Persecuting Me techniques, even when those two techniques are combined. It also has the advantage of prolonging the wank argument, because your offensiveness will only be gradually revealed and therefore will scare less of your opponents away outright.