I have to say again: this is one HELL of a piece of writing. Have you thought about getting it published. Like for real? Oh there are a couple of typos in the middle, in the same paragraph. Minor shit like a "he" when it should be a "the" and then a second one in the next sentence practically.
haha
pook is fired!
there's one story i found that i really liked for both its ray k and its fraser voice--both of them being super snarky and awesome. you can actually feel ray's desure to punch something too. ummm
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Date: 2006-11-09 04:49 pm (UTC)haha
pook is fired!
there's one story i found that i really liked for both its ray k and its fraser voice--both of them being super snarky and awesome. you can actually feel ray's desure to punch something too. ummm
third person. by julad