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Somehow I feel like it is. I mean, nothing is overtly wrong (except for the things that are always wrong) and yet everyone is pissed off and depressed and listless and just generally bitchy. It's either politics (grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr) or finances (can't look or i'll cry) or work situations or all of the above. I'm trying to be positive, but honestly, my PMS has me so drained of energy they're lucky I go to work at all. It's just this rapidly becoming overwhelming sense of doom, this frustration of years of a crappy job, about to get crappier, unfinished stories, unfinished life, lonliness, poverty that the state and federal governments like to pretend doesn't exist and yet still knowing that I get paid better than a lot of a people, no healthcare but health problems, the constant fear that at some moment, something will break down that I do not have the money to pay for. And then there's the fact that everywhere I go I encounter people in the same or worse situations. Or that I feel surrounded by ignorant Republican assholes who refuse to even admit that there is a problem with the way things are. You can't stay calm when faced with that, and yet if you try to list what's wrong, the list becomes so big you sound crazy.
I'm starting to rant a bit now, which is fine, no one need respond if they don't want to, I'm just pissed, and tired, working for a corporation that doesn't back up its employees, taking shit from customers every day. (Yeah, your life sucks. Mine does too. You don't see me taking it out on retail clerks). Paying state taxes even though technically I'm below poverty level for California. If there were no roommates I would be flat broke, but since I have the roommates, CA says I must pay. OOKKKAAAYY. I have no savings, and no hope of getting a savings, but rich fuckers in Walnut Creek get tax breaks. And then my mother (whom I love) starts to once again nag me about how I'm at that age where I should be saving and living on my own using my fucking useless degree to get a good job. Really. As though I haven't tried. As though the job market doesn't suck ass right now. People with double degrees and decades of experience can't get good jobs at the moment.
And my house is a mess. *trails off into a whine*
One good thing though. It occured to me as male coworkers who work one day a week and go to school at a CC part time whined once again about how tired they are, that, for dealing with this as long as I have, I'm pretty kick ass. :) That doesn't mean I'm not going to snap and go after people with a serrated kitchen knife.
I'm starting to rant a bit now, which is fine, no one need respond if they don't want to, I'm just pissed, and tired, working for a corporation that doesn't back up its employees, taking shit from customers every day. (Yeah, your life sucks. Mine does too. You don't see me taking it out on retail clerks). Paying state taxes even though technically I'm below poverty level for California. If there were no roommates I would be flat broke, but since I have the roommates, CA says I must pay. OOKKKAAAYY. I have no savings, and no hope of getting a savings, but rich fuckers in Walnut Creek get tax breaks. And then my mother (whom I love) starts to once again nag me about how I'm at that age where I should be saving and living on my own using my fucking useless degree to get a good job. Really. As though I haven't tried. As though the job market doesn't suck ass right now. People with double degrees and decades of experience can't get good jobs at the moment.
And my house is a mess. *trails off into a whine*
One good thing though. It occured to me as male coworkers who work one day a week and go to school at a CC part time whined once again about how tired they are, that, for dealing with this as long as I have, I'm pretty kick ass. :) That doesn't mean I'm not going to snap and go after people with a serrated kitchen knife.
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