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So I have not been writing lately. At all.
This is very bad. Both for my mental state and my ability to write anything. The longer I go without writing, the harder it is to try again.
The problem being I'm supposed to be editing. Editing. Editing is a thousand times as hard for me as just putting words on the page. If you think I write at a slow speed, you ought to see me trying to be responsible and edit. It hurts us. I fidget. I waste time. I drink too much coffee and start editing everything else in the world (my flist, my interests, my facebook profile) but the chapter of whatever that is giving me problems. I even read long Batman movie-verse fic that made me go "wuuuuhthefuck?" in that way that Fenster says it in the Usual Suspects.
And I don't want to start something new while I am still editing. Or I will never ever finish editing. I know this about myself.
Also I have something new I want to do, and am scared of at the same time. So my brain says, wouldn't you rather pick at your nails and maybe imagine Carlton/Shawn date number two?
Grrrrrrr
Though then I tried to write a quick story (on paper, weird) just to get back in the habit the other day and it sucked and I hated it.
So yeah, this is a combination venting session and apology for not producing anything in a while. In over two months. Maybe three.
Grrrrrrr
This is very bad. Both for my mental state and my ability to write anything. The longer I go without writing, the harder it is to try again.
The problem being I'm supposed to be editing. Editing. Editing is a thousand times as hard for me as just putting words on the page. If you think I write at a slow speed, you ought to see me trying to be responsible and edit. It hurts us. I fidget. I waste time. I drink too much coffee and start editing everything else in the world (my flist, my interests, my facebook profile) but the chapter of whatever that is giving me problems. I even read long Batman movie-verse fic that made me go "wuuuuhthefuck?" in that way that Fenster says it in the Usual Suspects.
And I don't want to start something new while I am still editing. Or I will never ever finish editing. I know this about myself.
Also I have something new I want to do, and am scared of at the same time. So my brain says, wouldn't you rather pick at your nails and maybe imagine Carlton/Shawn date number two?
Grrrrrrr
Though then I tried to write a quick story (on paper, weird) just to get back in the habit the other day and it sucked and I hated it.
So yeah, this is a combination venting session and apology for not producing anything in a while. In over two months. Maybe three.
Grrrrrrr