I've been reading a lot in the past few days....Clearly.

And yet more things about slash writers that annoy the holy living crap out of me:

The phrase "pre-slash"---as if, somehow, it's not gay if they are only feelings and vague thoughts but not any actual sex. It's the sex that makes it slash apparently. Without it, they're just two straight guys who rilly, rilly like each other I guess, but not in that way.


The phrase "femmeslash"---as if, somehow, the fact that the story stars two women wouldn't clue us in, they felt the need to take a word that had no real gender meaning attached to it originally (other than implying two people of the same gender) and add something completely unnecessary to it. And by the way, adding a prefix (or even a suffix) to something to make it the feminine version just makes the feminine version look weak and secondary. For fuck's sake--It's slash! You say slash Then you list the pairing. And we all use our brains and say, oh, it's about some ladies.


Come vs. Cum---I've ranted on this one before. But seriously? SERIOUSLY? Who's not getting this now?


The "Hi, I'm new to this fandom, and I've never written a fic for them before but I was really thinking I could do this (some "shocking" idea) in a story, what do you guys think?" desperate plea for attention people. I read something that insecure and I know I'm not going to read anything you'll ever write. Okay? I'm just going to take note of your name and avoid your neediness like it's made of plague bacteria.


The series/WIP writers who post unbeta'd paragraph chunks everyday and then throw fits when people stop reading and reviewing their crap. Seeing this - My Gay Love Epic Part 27/? - lets me know that you are not a writer with an ending in mind. You are writing for attention. If you weren't, you'd take more care and maybe, I don't know, finish something before you posted it even if it meant going for days, maybe even WEEKS, without any attention. *gasp* !!!


Seeing MPREG anywhere at all in a story description. Please note: Kidfic is one thing. Many people enjoy reading about children who already exist getting adopted or whatever. Also, anyone writing about say...aliens with unknown physiology...sure maybe the men are like male seahorses or something, so at least that's plausible. And any show/book/movie with magical realism, you could also make a case for the presence/existence of assbabies. However, none of that really matters, because when I see MPREG in a story summary (though it ought to be in the warnings) I am not going to read that story no matter how plausible you try to make it. Why? Because anyone who chooses to read and write slash and yet is obsessed with offspring enough to also make teh gay men have assbabies is clearly someone who has a lot of personal issues that hopefully her assbabies story will help her deal with, but that's not really what I'm interested in reading. I just don't get it. Why not write about women if you like babies so much? Why not have teh gays adopt? Have them have sex with a woman just for procreation? Any other option but magical ass children. (Which is weird, because I find genderfuck stories all sorts of awesome). Oh you like Danny from Without A Trace and you want to have his babies? Why not turn Martin into you and then have him inexplicably stop getting his period or whatever it is that lets the man know he is with child. Makes perfect sense.


Typos in general I mostly ignore. It's obvious word meanings that are inexcusable in a writer. Lose. Loose. Look them the fuck up. Typos in the story summary... Yeah I'm just not going to read that.


In fact, I see any of those things, and I'm not reading the story. If I start reading a story and the C-U-M spelling appears, I am out of there. No comment. No rec. No linking. No matter how good everything might have been otherwise (though I'm guessing not that good if you're that clueless about such obvious things).

You might think this is me being too picky. But I say it helps me save time by allowing me to avoid a lot of crap epics.