The eternal question

[rispacooper]

I hate writing. Why do I write?

I eliminate, finally, one WIP and three more pop up. And they all suck right now, and I suck, and still I struggle, and *why* and I can only imagine the pain if I ever tried to do something that wasn't gay pr0n. I would go insane.

Comments

[j-s-cavalcante.livejournal.com]

The Hydra! Oh, God, I know, I know. But, listen. You write because your creativity wells up out of you, and you are GOOD at it, you do NOT suck just because what's on the virtual paper isn't the final version--so what?--and it's not "just pr0n," it's stories, human stories, and they make a difference to your readers.

I ask myself a lot whether I'm being an idiot to write this instead of whatever else I could be writing. Then I remind myself that, yeah, I could agonize for years over some "literary fic" that I didn't even care for that much, go through the crap you have to go through to get somebody else to publish it, have something I could then show to family and friends, and...see it sit on a dusty shelf somewhere, mostly not being read, until the cover gets ripped off and it gets remaindered.

Instead, I write for an audience that is already in place and waiting for my next piece, whatever it is, which I can publish any time I want to, and they'll be kind no matter what, and thousands of people will read it over the next few years, and most of those, I trust, will find some value in it. And, just...how is that a bad thing, you know? We're at the forefront of what may be a revolution in women's literature and women's lives (and really, all people's lives, but it has special significance for women), not to mention the reclaiming of the public ownership of creative works and the empowerment of all classes of people via the non-hierarchical internetworking of communication, now that we have the Internet. It is an unprecedented change in human life. It is a BIG DEAL.

So is the fact that, for the first time in human history, hundreds of thousands, even probably millions, of women have claimed the right to read and write and publish what they please.

What you are doing matters. So it's worth the occasional struggle.

And I'm so there with you, down in the trenches. I'm writing and drawing tonight, as usual, and grrrr! I just want to get something finished, dammit! What I've just shared with you is the little pep talk I give myself every time WIPs turn into the many-headed Hydra.

I'm struggling with art the same way. Worse, even, as I have far less training in art and am almost entirely self-taught. I take on projects that are way over my head, stuff that a lot of teachers say you should never attempt. But this is what I want to draw, this is what lights me up. So...I dunno, I guess you're either true to yourself, your inner vision, or you're not. It's so hard when you feel like you're swimming upstream. I still think it's worth it.... {{{hugs}}}

[pir8fancier.livejournal.com]

Having gone through my own writing crisis in the last three weeks, I can only say that I understand, truly, however, I love your writing. It's mature, complex, and fascinating. So all that angst is not for naught.

[paraxdisepink.livejournal.com]

Dude, only Mohinder has the answers . . . Maybe he'll tell us tonight :)

[rispacooper.livejournal.com]

Why Mohinder why? Am I like a cockroach, struggling to survive? Is this the next step in human evolution---gay porn?

Maybe he'll say yes, and then sort of casuallu mention Sylar in the next sentence...just out of nowhere...

[rispacooper.livejournal.com]

I hate not finishing things but I can't tell if I started some things just as avoidance, or to help me work out problems with the other unfinished stories or....(muffled scream)

issues...

[rispacooper.livejournal.com]

We're at the forefront of what may be a revolution in women's literature and women's lives (and really, all people's lives, but it has special significance for women), not to mention the reclaiming of the public ownership of creative works and the empowerment of all classes of people via the non-hierarchical internetworking of communication, now that we have the Internet. It is an unprecedented change in human life.

I never really thought of it like that. It's nice though. Elevating to something other than just gay porn.

I'm still gonna call it gay porn though, as that amuses me. :)

[pir8fancier.livejournal.com]

Writing is ALWAYS about issues and demons, yes? That's why I think people write.

[rispacooper.livejournal.com]

Writing, at this moment, can suck my ass.


and then Kittie points out I have never done Fraser blowing Ray.

Oops. My apologies.

[pir8fancier.livejournal.com]

Nature abhors a vacuum.

[rispacooper.livejournal.com]

Speaking of dumbass writing things...I sorta forgot that James used to stammer until now.

I mean, now I remember my whole plan with that and how he stopped and everything. But it was so long ago that it...uh...slipped my mind.

haha

[pir8fancier.livejournal.com]

Actually, I thought that was something you did deliberately! You know, as the story moved forward he stopped stammering because he was growing up.

[rispacooper.livejournal.com]

Heh, no I did it on purpose. I just forgot that whole thing completely. I haven't even thought about the James stutter in forever.


I also forgot that at one point, Rene grabbed James' dick and said "This is mine"

Oh dear.

*blush*

[pir8fancier.livejournal.com]

It's that sort of possessive, twisted side to Rene that rocks my world.

::Insert my own blush::