I have to say again: this is one HELL of a piece of writing. Have you thought about getting it published. Like for real? Oh there are a couple of typos in the middle, in the same paragraph. Minor shit like a "he" when it should be a "the" and then a second one in the next sentence practically.

haha

pook is fired!

there's one story i found that i really liked for both its ray k and its fraser voice--both of them being super snarky and awesome. you can actually feel ray's desure to punch something too. ummm

third person. by julad